Sigh...

Holding out for nothing,

because it is all that has been offered.

The constant wash of contentment,

purifies desire and defines treasure.

Darling Little Devil

Potential is a Devil and a Darling

It gives sanity in times of waiting,

and hope in times of searching.

It gives patience in times of teaching,

and persistance in times of learning.

It plays us for a fool when expectations aren't met,

and discourages us when it is not found.

Drives us mad when ignored,

and disappears with ignorance.

Potentailly... I am not as crazy as people think, but far more broken

Potentially... starting and stoping things will equal emotional whiplash

Potentially... this could do wonders for my pray life.

It's a devil and a darling. Potentially....

For Rebekah...

She usually floats across the wood,

So gentle and serene.

But tonight it's such a thunderous din,

It really sounds quite mean.

It's never her intent to saunter,

With such thump and womp.

But she's been drinkin', now she's doin',

The four-glasses of wine stomp.

I like Suspense

Love's a game you've folded on, time and time again.

I want to be around you, when you tell love you're all in.

The creator has His work to do, to ready you for the fray.

I danced with you again, and fell a little more today.

But emotions are betraying, if not backed with solid thought.

And you may have made your mind up, about what is, and what is not.

Comparison is the Devils game, the winner is seldom prized.

Content with a checklist's results, is not wisdom realized.

Tonight I'm heavy hearted, because I know I don't compare.

But that's not even half a thought, to a God who is always there.

So I give it up, joyful knowing I can't do it.

I don't have to win, to faithfully pursue it.

It's a good thing I like suspense....

p.s. This isn't all I think of you, and I'm not claiming to be right.

I just had to write this down, so I could sleep tonight.

Embrace

An embrace...who can define it?

It's scope is so wide.

No matter what the context,

It can be deep as the tide.

It can't be contained,

In script or in song.

It's loves handshake,

And friendships belong.

It may be hello,

It may be goodbye.

Needs no explaining.

or reasoning why.

Shoulder to shoulder,

Chest to Chest.

An embrace of a dear,

Is always the best.

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An embrace is not merely a hug,

It's about with whom you cut lifes rug...

Dance with me?

Longing

Longing is odd, it comes and it goes

Where it finds sticking points, nobody knows

Without direction, longings just ache

But when it finds target, it's coals and a rake

It is reason and purpose, a mantle for dreams

Only airbrushed and candied, not all that it seems

It's not just about what is, it's about what could be

Sometimes its from longing, we long to be free

Pacing

Unsure, troubled

Trying to figure out

What's the source of conflict

But there really is no doubt

That the pacing up and down

Has a source that rings true

And the pacings not for what I don't

But for what I do...

Galatians Haiku

My own seed planted,

Not one fruit of the Holy Spirit,

Why am I surprised?

Enough

Clamour and stammer to the next big sale,

 Cheese puff jars as big as a whale.

Commercials are running from Coast to Coast,

 To advise me of what I need the most.

The sight turns to like, then to want, then a need,

 Contentment abolished by systemic greed.

Flyers and coupons promise savings galore,

 Put it on credit and I can get more.

For stuff and for things I will misbehave,

 Purchasing my master, becoming its slave.

"It's all not enough!" my decisions proclaim,

 Is it any surprise I treat Jesus the same.

Gods Walking Club

Its funny how we all have a deep seeded need for proximity.  There is a vast difference in reading a book on a couch by your self, or reading one with someone next to you... be it a sibling, a spouse, or a friend...you don't event have to be reading WITH them... just next to you. In proximity to you.  Feeling thier warmth and hearing their breath.

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God knows about this.  He built us this way, because He IS that way.  He started the first walking club... with Adam and Eve in the Garden, every morning. He didn't have to... He is God and He is everywhere... He could have shown up as a giant floating head if He wanted to... He could see them at all times.  So why would He walk with them every morning?  Because he wants face time.  He wants relationship. 

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That does not happen over the phone, or over the Internet, or in a text message...it face to face.  Sure those things are useful tools and can help us connect, but it is not a replacement.   So put your computer, your mobile, and your ipod down and be with some one... be it a friend, loved one, child or spouse (and chiefly, your maker)... just connect...its what God did with the first two of us...

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thoughts? 

Thoughts on thievery

It is the fortunate man who is robbed in anonymity.

  It is true torture to see your thief enjoy their spoils.

How must God feel, seeing us take our fill of what is His,

  Without taking our fill of Him.

One Last Look

A telling glance

 Looking back after goodbye

Cannot tell a lie

The Process

The process is long, and the process is hard,

 Like chewing up asphalt yard by yard,

With plastic utensils on concrete food,

 No place for a sorbet interlude.

Abandoning comfort in the here and the now,

 Accepting the work without knowing the how.

They'll be no sign stating, 'You're almost done!'

 No checkered flag finish to declare you've won.

Peace comes in inches, for working these miles,

 Tears will be kidnapped, and ransomed for smiles.

The long and the hard is no short term deal,

 So get out synthetic silverware, begin your bitter meal.

You'll be glad when you've finished, its the only way,

 For God to inspect your plate, and declare 'Go out and play!'

Keys to the Kingdom

I've lived in places with cardboard walls,

 And yellow lines along cell block halls.

Once there was a time when there were keys in my pocket,

 Now precious to me as a lovers locket.

But it's my third time getting out of the pen,

 Is this the time I start collecting keys again?

Can I hope for a life with access and trust,

 Or will barred windows mark this try a bust,

Keys are just tiny little pieces of steel,

 Shaped to move a cryptic wheel.

But they mean that I have, and I can, and I do,

 I can hardly trust me, so why should you?

So many keys to homes, cars & jobs,

 But they're of no use to us homeless slobs.

Such a common item, there isn't much thought,

 Until everyone else has, and you have not.

It's a mountain to climb, a dream to achieve,

 But I can't do it myself, I need other to believe.

Sweet music would be keys jingling in my pocket,

 Life is a betrayed lover, and keys, its locket.

Maybe this time.... 

Bruised Teeth

I've chewed on this life a while,  I have bruised teeth to prove it. 

  With one long painful scar I've made, and my effort to remove it.

The double of my toils, shows the double of my lack,

  And the bills my life are charged with, seems an ever growing stack.

But I'm offered constant rescue, and I know that I'm in debt,

  The life preservers out there, and I know I've grabbed on, yet...

I'm still thrashing in the bedlam, because I cherish my own way.

  And who can teach a panicked soul, to rest and wait and pray.

I should really hold on tighter, to the rescuers belay,

  And drown panic with patience, and begin another day...

I Hope

I hope, I hope,  says the whining dope

  If I don't get my way, then get me a rope!

It seems hopes scope, is something that's free,

 To be utterly deifined, by something in me.

But hopes design, since mans first fall,

  Is that hope without Christ, has no hope at all.

Oceans of empty,  just an oath on an ache,

  To a selfish, greedy, lying, blinded soul on the take.

Hoping for what I want, never satisfied wanting,

  Or soothed the pang of the ghost that's haunting.

Hoping for what God wants, is a hope that can fulfill

  I hope I learn to open ears, shut mouth, and just sit still.

Fallen Haiku

Eve chose the apple

 Adam should have run away

Man I hate raking

An Honest Beating

Thieves keep taking

  Cheaters keep cheating,

It the honest one

  Who takes the beating.

But, ah here's the rub

  It's the proud mans snub,

To think he is better

  When he's really a grub.

Yes, I am guilty of pride

  I am the one who has lied,

A betrayers betrayal

  On the front and the side.

So how do I stop

  And come out on top,

When the seeds of my trespass

  Sow a bumper crop.

What I could be giving,

  Christ life in me living.

Peace dreams possibility...

Conundrum of Possibilities

Clouds have cleared,  Starting to feel free,

 Held back by a conundrum of possibility.

What is coming next, without a well laid plan,

 Can shake the very bones of a thoughtful man.

And a carefully planned out  'come what may',

 Can birth many an exciting day.

But possible to a greedy soul,

 may leave one in a self-dug hole

So what are the rules of my future glance,

 Destiny, Divinity, brute luck, or chance.

With first nod to a Maker, time and task are His,

 Put petal to prayer, and get on with your biz...

Divided by Me

My life is a mess, complicated by disaster,

 Which I ever-foolishly try to master.

Emotional shrapnel from hidden mines,

 Dig into my heart with their pointy little tines.  

It's seventeen problem, packed into three,

 Multiplied by life, and divided by me.

It's a busy day of nearly working,

 Compounded by what might be lurking.

Turning a corner, hoping to see straight,

 Twists and turns are another weight.

Searching for gems with a cost of free,

 Multiplied by life, and divided by me.

Where is all this madness headed?

 The answer is the thing most dreaded.

Translating the rules of spirituality,

 Into the walking rulebook of me.

A resounding failuresque cacophony,

 Multiplied by life, and divided by me.

The Sea

Disappointment is always the Sea,

 that drowns dreams into reality.

Wake up and realize what's really there,

and be okay that dreams don't care.

Even favorites are impaired,

 when they are not able to be shared.

Vulnerability's pain has its reward,

 just ask the Lord

I'm sinking fast but my legs are still kicking, each breath may be my last..

  my arms beating the water in vain, sinking fast

Red and white my rescue comes flying, meant to save me from dying...

  but I don't need it, I can make it!  I turn away and beat the waves harder and faster

and ever in vain all my effort and strain.

torrents beating down, waves crashing over me, wishing my feet could touch the bottom.

I've fought my rescuer... tossed the life preserver back, ever believing my strength is enough.

 I'm sure if I keep trying I'll teach myself how to swim,

I can get to safety on my own, or at least tread water...

Bootstraps pulled and lungs are burning their last,  surely I am better off for all my struggling,

 But I am further now from safety than ever, And here comes my rescue again..

How do you know I can't make it?! (as my lungs fill up with H2O)

 How can you say I won't reach the shore?!! (with no shore in sight)

How do you know the storm is stronger than me!!!(you think you know me, know my limits?)

 and I'm not sure If I swam away of if you just backed off... but now...

now my lungs are frozen stiff and my arms and legs are paused,

  and I'm too proud to raise my hands for help... well...

I didn't make this storm! these aren't MY waves! I had no idea what undertow was (till now).

surrender... surrender...

now I realize I won't make it, I rue my arrogance but it's all I have left now.

 I am too ashamed to cry out, or look up, 

too weary and ashamed  to lift an arm in hope of rescue.... why would you help me now? 

 are you even still out here? If I call will you answer and will you really save?

I need to be rescued!!! I have cement shoes and I am doomed!!!

but how do I call you? How do you rescue?  What is it I have to do?  

How far do my arms have to stretch?  What was that prayer they prayed in Sunday school?

Surrender... Surrender....

I open my eyes and the storm is gone, and all I see is you, I am shocked and still gasping and reaching but with some relief that you are in sight. 

You hold me and I am safe, I rest and I embrace...

 but then I hear the roar of the waves and you TOSS ME BACK!!!

NO, take me back, I want to rest, I'm tired, and I want you to do it for me.

 You smile and say son, you are on my swim team now... just swim...press on... 

you'll get to shore... I own the waves... and I hold more power the the oceans.

You are on MY team, and you are safe.

SURRENDER

So swim for shore and take as many as you find with you,  I am on your side... I am FOR you...

 I start to swim and I realize I am not sinking!! I surrender to my task and I head for shore...

listening for frozen lungs, resistant gasps and hands half raised in defiant defeat

 (I know all too well what they sound like and look like)

A deep breath and a smile and I paddle away.... (He is clearing a path)

 Stroke by stroke until my dying day... (He is cheering me on)

I swim in sweet surrender.

A Cacophony of Failure

The one with the money said life just ain't funny,

  Without the ability to aford.

30 pieces down the road, wasn't such a heavy load,

  To betray his Saviour and Lord.

Do you love me? times 3, Yes you know I love thee

  Said the fisherman with the sword in it's sheath.

You'll deny me... alot,  Oh no I will Not!

  But the rooster confrimed disbelief.

I've got you you worm, insignificant germ!

  I can't believe that you say your the... who?!

But in darkness was vexed, in the temple perplexed,

  As the veil was torn in two.

Sentence Him to die, and don't ask us why,

  but "Innocent" the courtly news.

Ceasars our King, we'll kiss his ring,

  Okay.. heres you "King of the Jews.

So you wouldn't bow?  Well, I've got you now!

  You can bet I'll do as I please.

This is gonna be GREAT!  Let me first lock the gate,

  Hang on a sec, where are my keys?

Blood sweat and tears, aren't asuaging these fears,

  not my will but your way.

Pride, money, regret, I'm not done just yet,

  I'll see you again in three days!

If I was a car, I wouldn't get myself far,

  If I tried to drive on my own.

Heading my own way, has led me to say

  My life is really on loan.