My side of the Bed

The gavel has been struck, the Judges ink is dry.

  So many questions that start with why.

The tear ducts are dry, and the lawyers been paid,

  I say I don't miss you but I wish you'd stayed.

I make myself numb to emotions half dead,

  But I still sleep on my side of the bed.

I haven't gone anywhere without you yet,

  Sometimes I think the worst of me is the best I can get.

I feel like a fool, I'm my own biggest liar,

  All our vows and promises are ashes in a fire.

Self pity doesn't pay the bills, it doesn't even cover rent,

  Desire is a sinkhole, you heart is what gets lent.

That's right, a sink hole... gaping, hungry, cold.

   It takes the length right out of time and leaves you feeling old.

How do I get it in reverse, and back up my mistakes,

  When my mind is full of recipies for divorce celebration cakes?

There are two minds within me, they fight, they war they win.

  When the cross is my only view, is when healing begins.

Yield

Ends can be beginnings,  thats what some say,

  The end of one thing means, I took off my ring today.

And what does that mean in the greater scheme of things, 

  Making and breaking promises, and the removal of rings.

Is it okay to feel freedom, rest and relief?

  And how do I let go of regret, sorrow and grief?

Questions are easy, its the answers that seem hard

  To a lying greedy soul, they're a fenced in yard. 

Double-Sided Coin

Delay does not calm fears,  

  It grows anxiety.

However pious your intentions,

  The result is never piety.

Broken is as broken does,

  I am broken inside out.

Rusty thoughts and an oiled tongue,

  Carries little clout.

So where does love fit into things,

  If seeing is believing?

Being gotten... then forgotten,

  And watching the getter leaving.

So why the double-sided coin?

  A story ends one way.

No matter who leaves, or where they've gone,

  Christ is the one who'll stay.

Skewed

The views of the slighted, have always been slanted,

  The proof of the claim is the orchard that's planted.

Time and pride are needed to skew,

  The straightest and narrowest view.

And the shoulder-sprites love to dangle,

  Having your way from some new angle.

So how do you know your view is true, 

  When the biggest liar you know is you.

Arrogance... ignorance or a roll of the dice?

  Or... you could just ask for advice. 

Appetite for Forgiveness

If  you really want it, it is always there,

  You have to believe it enough to give it away.

You have to be willing to let go of excuses,

  You have to be willing to let someone else pay. 

You have to realize who's really been wronged,

  Accept His justice on others and on you.

You have to embrace the release,

  As something you say and something you do.

Hungry? 

Me, Myself and I AM

Lonely, lonely, woe is me,

  For some, bondage... others free.

Sometimes, silence is din,

  Others, its were thoughts begin.

Alone time and me time... they aren't the same,

  One is selected the other is lame.

How to be lonely if never forsaken,

  You cannot have tasted, what you have not partaken.

Always there? I can't touch it or taste it. 

  Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean you can't waste it!

So what can I do, in my time with just I?

  Realizing "by myself" is really a lie.

Alone but not lonely, faith is the key,

  When belief grow eyes, then you'll see...

Not In Heaven

Pearl gates, golden roads and amps that go to eleven,

  A room in the mansion, and things in lots of seven.

No tissues or Q-tips or diaper rash cream,

  No receipts, or coupons or opposing team.

No contracts, or cataracts or strange competitions,

  No alarm clocks or time cards or late submissions.

No death, no credit cards, no crap to the gills,

  Just the constant of the Son on our window sills.

No tuning or warm ups, just praising and singing,

 Every note in harmony ringing.

I cannot imagine what heaven will be,

  From ourselves and this world we'll be free.

Pearl gates, gold roads... amps that go to eleven,

  No butt-holes or bellybuttons in Heaven.